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When it comes to dating, girls are not always, shall we say, consistent with what we say we want and what we actually go for. (Shocker, I know.) And yes, we can get caught up in the whole bad boy allure. B ut that aside, once we do smarten up, it does become quite apparent that in life -- or at least in love -- it’s the so called “nice guys who end up being the right guys. And there is a distinct reason for that. OK, sure -- part of it has to do with getting burned by the bad boy(s) more times than we can count, but the other part (drumroll) is because the nice guy ticks off every box on both lists: a ll of the big deals -- trust, loyalty, security, confidence, commitment, etc. -- and all of the little ones too. Believe it or not, it's those little ones that seal the deal a lot of the time. OK, the big ones are technically the deal breakers, but the little ones are what we get all smiley-faced and gushy-eyed over with our girls. So if you’re finding yourself wondering where...

When it comes to being good with words, there are lots of obvious pros. You know exactly what to say during tense situations, and how to turn conversations around whenever things start to get awkward. You're a master at coming up with witty tweets, and all your text messages get responded to with top tier emojis. And of course, you know just what to say to get yourself laid. If this guy sounds nothing like you, we can at least help you with that last one. We asked a few ladies to tell us the lines that have won them over and got them under the sheets. Looking to get lucky? Try these ten lines tonight. 1. Tell Her What You Love About Her "An Italian man told me, 'Tina, I love you eyes, your nose, your mouth. I love all of you." -Tina 2. Netflix And Chill (But With A Show You Can't Get On Netflix) "He told me, 'if you come over, we can watch Arrested Development. I have the entire series on DVD.' It was impressive, as this was before the show was stream...

Bumble may be the app where women have to message first, but Tinder is undeniably a woman’s market. A study conducted by research firm GlobalWebIndex found that about 62% of all location-based dating app users are male. This research was in line with a previous study conducted by the PEW Research Center , which found that 13% of American men were on dating apps and sites, compared to only 9% of women. What does this research tell us? It tells us that, since women are in the minority, they have more men fighting over them -- and therefore have more matches to choose from. Essentially, women are in the power position. (Which, if you've used dating apps before, shouldn't come as a surprise.) As such, the onus isn't necessarily on them to make it work with any one guy, since there will always be more swiping right on them. The result? Dudes are frustrated. For some skilled charmers, Tinder might be easy peasy, but for most of us, it's a struggle. I decided to ask some ...

This article was originally published by AskMen UK. Juliet Grayson isn't your typical relationship counsellor. She's a believer in polyamory, thinks you can love multiple people at once, and has even helped one couple negotiate the terms of an S&M relationship (after a seriously dangerous incident left them wondering how to continue... safely). In her new book, Landscapes of the Heart: The Working World of a Sex and Relationship Therapist , in stores now, she describes the journeys of five couples and one individual through their sessions, as they progress to more fulfilling sex and relationships. In each case, Juliet shares a particular aspect of theory that underpins her work. What she's learned over her 25 years of experience is sure to give you some serious stuff to think about – whether you're currently in a relationship or are ever planning to be in one. Here's are 17 truths about love's underworld. And it's not all pretty. The words are Juliet...

Online dating is a minefield of craziness. To be honest, it's not a bad idea to tell your friends where you're going before an online date, just in case their date turns out to be a serial killer. The truth is, no one knows what they’re getting into or who they’ve matched with on Tinder, sometimes until it's too late. As someone who met their current significant other on the infamous dating app, I have become somewhat of an expert in identifying red flags on dating apps. Even though this is by no means a fool-proof list, by noticing these six red flags, you’re one step closer to weeding out every crazy you swipe right on. 1. They're Overly Specific About Body Types One of the strangest and most uncouth things you can do on a dating app is make a public declaration of the body types you will and will not talk to. Sure, it's natural to have a “type and to only match with people you are physically attracted to. However, it's another thing entirely to be sup...

I’ve always been a big proponent of online dating because it is where I met my current boyfriend. We have the dog and the apartment and the co-oped couch and it all seems to be really working out well, so I rarely have hesitation when it comes to suggesting to friends to get out there in the online dating world. With a reported 40 million people using online dating as their primary source of meeting people, it is clear I’m not the only one giving this advice. However, in retrospect I’m also able to recognise the dangers in it. I’ve seen Single White Female and I’m able to look back at the fact that I met my boyfriend in a dark bar without letting anyone know and think “that was dumb. But, just how creepy and weird can online dating get? I was really curious to know what so many people had reservations about it, and what had happened to get them to that point. So, naturally, I turned to ten of my friends and asked them “what crazy shit has happened to you while you’ve ...

This article was originally published by AskMen UK. Being devastatingly charming isn’t just for the Clooneys and Goslings of the world, you know. Across boardrooms, bars and used-car showrooms you will find Professional Flirts – people who practically have sweet-talking etched into their job specs. But what’s the secret to keeping smoothness switched on for 8+ hours a day? And how can you activate yours for personal gain? (Yep, we’re thinking women). Read on. The Bartender: Use self-effacing humour “Being able to take the proverbial piss out of oneself is highly effective in creating instant rapport. It immediately relaxes your peers: they then feel they’re able to poke fun, which is essential in most relationships. It also washes away intimidation or arrogance – two states that make people feel uncomfortable. When I was bartending I made a mistake when it came to a family’s meal, but because I was friendly in handling it, was very apologetic and took the piss out of my...

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus was the highest selling book of non-fiction in the 1990s for good reason. When it comes to the initial stages of dating, surging endorphins and crazy-amazing sex (if you're lucky), men and women have very different experiences. Why? Falling in love for you isn’t the same as it is for a woman, and not just in how quickly you melt for her in certain ways and how much longer it takes you to feel connected in other ones. “Men and women are wired differently. Women are more emotive and intellectualise love more. Women can grow to love someone they were not initially attracted to, once they get to know the person. Men need the opposite, psychologist Nikki Martinez says. “Men need the initial attraction [first] to be open to getting to know the person who they will ultimately fall for. Also, since women are very cerebral about things, they are thoughtful about the idea of love, where men can be fast and 'all in' once they have those f...

We toss the word “friendzone around a lot these days as a sort of catch-all phrase to describe a variety of romantic misfires. So much so that it’s almost become a bit of a joke, or excuse even, becoming reason in and of itself for rejection. In fact, the amount of times I’ve heard girlfriends (and even some guys) say something along the lines of “(s)he’s really sweet but you know, friendzone and cackle into a fit of laughter without any pressure to elaborate further, as in “nuff said, is too common to count. The thing is, it's significantly less funny when you happen to find yourself in said “zone, and I would imagine (because I don't think I have been friendzoned to date, as far as I’m aware) incredibly frustrating and confusing too. The good news is, figuring out where exactly things went wrong isn’t really hard, as pretty much every excuse in the book can be filtered into one of the following five reasons. (And they’re probably not as “crazy as your eg...

So you go on a date, maybe two, with a girl you matched with on Tinder. Let's call her Kelly. She's cute, as cute as her profile pictures, or maybe even cuter. She dresses well, and has great taste in whisky bars. You make jokes and laugh and bond over liking the same sports team. And you kind of click. But you don't really . Not like you did with your ex, anyway. And there are a few other girls you're trying to get with right now. You're not sure how much of a shot you have with them, but enough, you imagine, that getting serious with Kelly would be the wrong move right now. But you don't hate her -- you might even be down to kiss her again in the future. So rather than breaking up with her, or cutting off all communication (ghosting), you do something else. You bench her. It's a new term coined by writer Jason Chen in a New York mag article and it frankly describes a lot of what happens in our current online dating culture. It's when you decide you...

Ten years ago, online dating used to carry with it a stigma of desperation and negativity. Match.com and eHarmony held the perception of being a tool for lonely people who couldn’t make love happen in reality. Fast forward to 2016, where dating apps like Bumble and Tinder have essentially turned meeting potential mates into a Candy Crush -like mobile game. Digital dating is now quite mainstream and pretty much expected when you’re single and ready to mingle. After a tough breakup, however, it can be pretty daunting to approach an attractive person at the bar, let alone construct an entire digital profile that’s supposed to win them over with a quick glimpse of your profile shot. So let’s talk through some of the best practices to navigate digital dating, so you can make sense of swiping and get the best results. 1) Decide Which Site Is Best For You It’s commonly said to recently single people that “there are plenty of other fish in the sea. But in today’s dating climate, ...

Dating games have always made absolutely no sense. A scrap of logic tells you that complimenting someone and admitting you like them is going to work. Then The Rules shot you down and made you wait three dates, and Neil Strauss’s The Game told you to act mean. This was confusing enough when you had one prospective partner – not a phone-screen offering up thousands. So we asked five experts on the frontline of digital dating how to handle the mindf**k of app-iquette – what’s good, what’s bad, and what’s uglier than another Saturday night looking at your ex’s Facebook feed. The Male Dating Blogger Jon writes award-winning blog The Things I’ve Done To Impress Women THE GOOD “The only useful techniques are the ones that have stood the test of time – honesty, generosity, and an open heart. Oh, and patience. I have a friend who went on 200 dates and didn’t get a single second date. He began to lose faith. Then, on the 201st, he met The Girl. That was four years ago â...

This article was originally published by AskMen UK. You’re thinking, "I’ve never posted a Candy Crush update, of course my Facebook’s not scaring off women!" Yet new research threatens otherwise. Dating platform The Inner Circle found that 42% of female daters found men less attractive after seeing their social channels. “We live in a time where you’re one Google away from someone being seriously put off you, admits dating coach Hayley Quinn . “Lots of dating apps integrate directly with your social media, so you have to create a feed that you can be proud of. And that means doing more than avoiding Game of Thrones spoilers. Rule 1 – Know the two profile goals “The first two things women think about when looking at profiles are, ‘Do I trust them?’ and ‘Do I want to spend time with them?’ says dating expert James Preece . Not, "Did he manage to get compensation from Network Rail after that 11-minute delay he tweeted seven times about?" “T...

From the first time that a girl truly caught your eye, you know what it’s like when you’re really digging someone. Blame it on the first girlfriend who broke your heart or that one that was always too elusive to be caught, but in every relationship, there’s never a fully equal division of love. As matchmaker and dating expert Sarah Patt explains: whoever loves the other more isn’t a competition. Instead, it’s an ebb-and-flow over many months (and years) where your love for one another changes, just like your life, career and beliefs do. You can’t stand stagnant in anything, or well, you’ll get bored. While it’s normal for your girl to be more into you than you are into her and vice versa, depending on the month or the time, relationship coach and therapist Kristy De Leon says it’s important to notice just how extreme the balancing act is. “Depending on what is going on in the relationship, one person will typically feel like they are giving more love than the othe...

In a new AskMen series, Relationship Firsts, we ask experts various questions that inevitably come up at some point in relationships. From introducing a sex toy to what to do when your sex life dwindles, we're covering the gamut of whatever you're too embarrassed to ask (or admit to) your mates. It's no fun thing to admit, but the romantic love stage of a relationship isn't meant to last. Actually, according to Harville Hendrix, Ph.D, there are three phases of relationships: the Ideal, the Ordeal, and the Real Deal. When we fall in love (the first stage) our brain becomes flooded with the neurochemical phenylethylamine, which increase our positive outlook, diminish pain, and cause us to feel safe and calm. They help motivate us to make the commitment to a relationship. So that first stage is all well and good – but what happens when it ends? We asked the experts what to do when you feel like the romance has died. Remember The 'D' Word Alain de Botton , autho...

For most people, marriage is a sacred bond. It is the closing of a door on your relationships past, a barbaric yawp from the rooftops which tells the world YOU ARE MINE AND I AM YOURS AND WE ARE FOR EACH OTHER ONLY; an eternal ‘dibs’, all swathed in ribbon with flowers pinned to it. And we love it. We root for you lovebirds. We give you toasters and cash for your honeymoon as a token of our investment in your marriage. That ring is a symbol of your together-foreverness, but sometimes that ring ceases to mean a thing and, for whatever reason, one of you finds yourself in the midst of an affair . With cheating becoming so easily accessible in the age of the app, choosing your ideal fuck-buddy is as easy as swiping right. So does this effortless formula for cheating inspire us to experiment with our sexualities? It seems so. Extra-marital dating website Gleeden.com recently surveyed its members, asking them whether they would consider having an affair with a member of the same sex, w...

It's an age-old debate: Can men and women truly, really, honestly just be friends? Some people are categorical about it: No. There will always be ambiguity. Others -- usually those with lots of friends from the opposite sex -- insist that platonic friendships between straight men and women can exist. Here is the thing: Studies have shown differences in the way both genders perceive and experience opposite-sex friendships . If you're a dude, you're more likely to think that your female friend might be attracted to you when she is not. Women, on the other hand, tend to assume their lack of attraction towards their male friend is mutual -- hence the existence of the dreaded friend zone concept. RELATED: Why Sleeping With Friends Is The Best Thing. And The Worst Thing An anonymous AskMen reader voiced her concerns about the potential one-sidedness of male and female friendships on guyQ , AskMen's Q&A platform. Can men and women truly be just friends? Without intentions...

As fun as dating can be, the realities of a sexless relationship can loom over a couple like a storm cloud on an otherwise sunny day. No matter how happy a couple may seem at first, the harsh reality that they can both enter into a dry spell together is something that shouldn’t be ignored. The reasoning behind this shift is often misrepresented by harmful stereotypes – that sex will inevitably dry up in marriage a long-term relationship, or that women simply enjoy sex less than men – while in reality, a couple can fall out of their love-making groove for any numbers of reasons. Whether it’s a change in mood from one person or a wealth of different problems enveloping the couple, a sexless streak is something that can be destructive to the relationship if not addressed and fixed. Luckily, this problem is far more common than people think, and can often be mended once it’s made apparent. To help clarify the reasoning behind a dry spell and give you some pointers on what you c...